Sunday, February 15, 2015

On Left Shark And Coding

Most of you probably heard of this left shark business by now, but in case you haven't, let me set the stage. Katy Perry, queen of catchy tunes and cultural appropriation, tunes both empowering (roar) and cringeworthy (last friday night), did a halftime show at the super bowl. It was a show that could not ignored. It was a show that could not be watched without pondering which particular drugs the creators were on, and/or whether you could get to your own drug stash in time to enjoy the show to its fullest.

I mean, seriously, Katy Perry rode a giant metal animatronic origami tiger, while dressed up like Ming the Merciless had babies with Will Ferrell in Blades of Glory.





For today's purposes, though, let's just talk about the part when KP returned from a costume change looking like Project Runway got their hands on a  Hot Dog On A Stick uniform,




and stepped into a comprehensively anthropomorphized beach. Naturally, KP was soon flanked by giant dancing buck-toothed beach balls, and two dancing sharks with legs (as we all have been at one time or another).

Now we're getting down to it. The shark on the right had sharp execution of his dance moves, while the shark on the left looked drunk half-assed not quite as polished. See for yourself:



And thus Left Shark was born unto the internet.

If you read this blog regularly, then you know that I think a lot about impostor syndrome and perfectionism and feeeeeelings. The second Left Shark blew up on the interwebs, I knew that Left Shark has much to teach.

Here's the thing that really strikes me - Left Shark is screwing up all over the place, but the internet fricking loves him*. In fact, it's precisely these screwups that made the internet notice him in the first place. The implications are staggering.

Seriously, think about it. This shark is badly dancing at the Super Bowl, in front of over 110 million viewers, right next to Katy Frickin' Perry. And yet, Left Shark has been elevated to internet royalty. But what about Right Shark? Right Shark is spot on. Right Shark has crisp moves. Right Shark is lookin' good. But nobody really cares.

What I'm saying is that I want to be Right Shark at all times. I want to be perfection embodied, but really, I've never been a Right Shark. I just haven't. I drop stuff on my shirt, my car is filthy, I say weird things when I'm nervous, and I don't know how to do Rails. But if Left Shark can mess up in front of 110 million people and walk away better than unscathed, I can mess up Rails and be alright. It's time to be the Left Shark I was always meant to be. It's time for me to just go break everything in spectacular fashion.

It'll be like this:


Dear Computers, Ima break you like I'm this cat  and you're this building



*the internet refers to Left Shark as he/him, and it has been established that the dancer inside of Left Shark is a male. However, evidence supports that these are female sharks. External morphology of male and female sharks differ only in the presence or absence of claspers and an anal fin (present in males). Neither is present in Left or Right Shark.

Male starry smoothmound shark. Note claspers and anal fin.

Female spiny dogfish. Note absence of claspers and anal fin.

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